So says Dudley Moore’s character in the 1990 film, Crazy People.
He’s an ad-man who goes bonkers and creates honest adverts. Jaguars are for men who want hand-jobs from beautiful women. Volvos are boxy but good.
The comedy comes when his ads mistakenly go out. And guess what, the public – sick and tired of being patronised – loves them.
The reason Nick Clegg is suddenly sexy is that we aren’t tired of his message. He can come across as untarnished. It feels like he hasn’t tried to tell us that Volvos are beautiful. It feels like he’s telling it how it is.
He isn’t, of course. But it feels new and refreshing. It feels like change.
Change is the big issue in this election. Not just because we’ve had Labour for 13 years. But also because the politicians let themselves down over expenses. Oh, and we’re not overjoyed by Iraq and Afghanistan. Oh, and we’d quite like to pull ourselves up and out of this recession.
There is a lot to want to get away from.
So he who sets himself up as the agent of change – be it Cameron or Clegg – is going to look attractive. Very, very attractive.
This is a problem for Labour. Throw in an unglamorous leader, and you don’t need yougov to predict voting intentions.
The irony is that the nation has not rejected Labour values. It just wants change. It’s change, stupid.
What can Labour do? Here’s one answer.
Tell it how it is.
So far, Labour has deployed two broad manoeuvres. It has defended its record. (Excellent on so many fronts, when you look at it. Except no one will.) And it has inculcated fear, asking people to imagine – as it did recently at a ‘flash-forward’ press conference – life under a heartless and crass Tory regime. (“You want change? Be careful what you wish for.”)
Those two strategies won’t be enough. They’re old politics. Old politics have been discredited. My fifteen-year-old son, Dan, says, a la Groucho Marx, that he would never vote for anyone who put themselves up for election. That is where the nation is at.
What Labour must do is acknowledge the public’s cynicism. Accept it. And, finally, adopt it.
Labour must concede that politicians make mistakes. Then they try to dodge the flak that follows. Politics is a slippery business.
To admit that, in the past, has meant certain death.
But these days, it’s death either way; no one in their right mind would vote for a politician.
So let’s not ask the electorate to vote for politicians. Instead, let’s ask them to vote for values. Let’s say ‘Look, we’re not great, but our values are decent. We’re not heroes, but we’re strong on a managed recovery. We’re not pretty, but we’re solid.”
Or, in other words, “We’re boxy – but we’re good.”
I agree that the British Public hasn’t abandoned Labour values. But isn’t the problem that Labour has? Systematically, since 1997? Look how they bought into the whole War On Terror and used it to push through so many half-cocked bits of legislation. Stupidly, they seemed to bringing to fruition every right-wing nutjobs fears about “big government” and “Chairman Brown”.
Yes, domestically they’ve done great things in Health, Education and Social Welfare. But they’ve had 13 years to look at electoral reform. Where is our elected second chanber? Clegg was right when he said that his pushes for reform have been blocked by the “old parties”. Of course, the Lib-Dems have much to gain from a reformed system.
They also had 13 years to rein in the worst excesses of the banking system and didn;t. And when they had the opportunity, post-crash, they seemed toothless. Why is it that the US is prosecuting Goldman Sachs and not the UK.
I agree that Clegg is not the Messiah, he’s a very shiny boy. But Gordon only has himself to blame if the electorate does want something new and shiny.
Hi Lisa,
Great things on Health, Education and Social Welfare seems pretty good to me.
As for reform, there has been quite significant devolution of power, and progress in Northern Ireland I thought we’d never, ever see. I’d like to see a more modern second chamber too, but I don’t mind if it takes time. Clegg wants proportional representation and to be honest I just don’t get it. In its simple version it does away with constituency representation. In its more sophisticated versions it feels too complicated. Given that all systems are flawed, I like the clarity of first past the post and one constituency, one MP. Am I a dinosaur?
Labour on the banks is interesting. They do seem pretty banker-friendly, which is surprising. I think it’s grown-up, though, to understand the importance of their role in our country – especially since the Tories killed what was left of industry in the UK. Do we really want to smother a sector that employs a million people and accounts for a huge proportion of GDP?
And the big headline on the banks has to be that Labour averted collapse, surely?
D
Not sure you can blame the Tories for the deindustrialisation of the UK, although they may have accelerated it. Like many developed countries we’re evolving away from agriculture and industry towards services as our needs become less basic. What needs to be asked is which party has the best policies to ensure the service sector, and manufacturing industries that rely on a highly educated population, continues to grow. With their links to the unions I’m not convinced that would be labour – look how they tried to bail out the car industry and yet it continues to collapse in this country. They will also increase taxes and introduce more regulation for the banking sector which will ultimately get passed onto those who use them.
Dom – I would never describe you as a dinosaur!!
It’s the tragedy of this government that domestic improvements have been overshadowed by Foriegn Policy and perceived lack of action in constitutional reform. I suppose that Blair came to power on such a wave of popular, hopeful support that we all imagined that we’d be living in a Socialist idyll and then two planes flew into buildings in New York and all bets were off.
But the Blair/Bush alliance has left such a nasty taste in my mouth – I’m just not sure I can vote for them again. But then, I think you maybe right about the economy.
The Tories are sure as sh*t not going to rein in the city boys in braces. And Mike, they’d have let the car industry die a death because car plant workers don’t vote Tory.