Anyone who knows grief knows that one of its special horrors is its capacity to surprise.
There you are, going along and minding your own business, when out of nowhere, grief smashes you in the face.
In grief you hunch your shoulders, primed at all times for attack. Let down your guard and you will pay.
Making my coffee this morning – a comforting ritual of grinding and frothing; Percol’s Black and Beyond beans; chrome; pressure – my brother Anthony was mentioned on Desert Island Discs. Apparently he once described conductor-castaway Harry Rabinowitz as “the UK’s best-kept secret”.
Son Giorgio, doing his homework, pricked up his ears. He was proud! “Anthony’s on the news!”
I smiled and quickly turned away, the toasted Vogel’s suddenly sandpaper in my throat, tears squirting absurdly from my eyes. Comic-book tears and my belly shuddering. An hour later, I still have not caught my breath.
I let down my guard. And I paid.
Never suppress that grief of a loved ones passing…especially when so young…we live with grief as much as we do with love, happiness, stress, memories are all important. Bless you and your family.
“Anyone who knows grief knows that one of its special horrors is its capacity to surprise.”
Indeed.
Brothers are very special creatures. I know this from my own experience. I never thought that one would become quite ill with MS and another die young. I thought they were the stuff of stars never realizing that stars are what remains of planets.
A brother is one who is so connected that we never think for a moment that they man not go on romping through life by our side. That is because they are a part of us.
May you remember the good times and all the times in between. Thank you for sharing with us a little bit of what your brother meant to you.